Waves Of Grief
Grief is a profound life experience, one that we all must navigate at some point in our lives. As a death doula, I have the honour of walking alongside individuals and families through their unique experiences of loss. Time and again, I witness how grief can feel relentless, washing over us in waves that can seem overwhelming. These waves can arise unexpectedly, often triggered by events, memories, or simple everyday moments.
Many of my clients come to me, feeling as though grief is a constant presence, a tide that does not recede. It might begin with the immediate shock of loss, but as life continues with its milestones, graduations, weddings, or even the birth of grandchildren. Those waves of remembrance can come crashing in. Imagine someone reflecting on a parent’s absence during a graduation ceremony, wishing they could share that moment, or a newly married couple realizing how much they miss having their loved ones to witness their joy a parent wishing they were able to witness their child’s birthday.
Grief is not just a response to death; it encompasses all the moments where we feel that gaping absence. It can be as simple as walking down a store aisle and seeing an item that once sparked joy during family gatherings or hearing a song that brings back cherished memories. In these moments, the weight of loss can become unexpectedly heavy, and it’s crucial to remember: you are not alone in this.
It’s essential to acknowledge that the waves of grief can feel all-consuming at times, and experiencing such emotions is entirely normal. Many wonder, “Why do I still feel this way?” or “Is it okay to feel grief years later? What about decades later?” The answer is a resounding yes. Grief is a complex and non-linear experience, where feelings may resurface unexpectedly.
As a death doula, my role is to provide a safe space for you to explore and validate these feelings. I offer support to help you recognize that the waves of grief are part of your healing process. Together, we can talk openly about the unique ways your loss impacts your life and how to honour those feelings without judgment.
While it's important to validate these emotions, I also understand that you may seek ways to cope. Though this is not a “how-to” blog, simple rituals can provide comfort. Creating a memory box filled with reminders of your loved one, writing letters to them, or planting a tree in their honour can serve as meaningful acknowledgments of their place in your life.
Remember, just as the waves come and go, so too does the feeling of grief evolve. You are not alone in your journey. Many have walked this path and found solace in companionship, whether through support groups, friends, or, if you choose, a death doula. Reaching out to others can help ease the burden and remind us that we are part of a community that understands.
As you navigate the waves of grief, know this: your experience is valid, and your feelings are shared by many. Allow yourself the grace to feel, to remember, and to heal in your own time.
